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Female Language Translator

Discussion in 'Dating, Friendships, and Relationships' started by BurtMeister3000, Feb 17, 2016.

  1. Mebs

    Mebs Active Member

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    Oh christ they were hilarious,burst out laughing to a few of them. Would love to see some of the ladies' thoughts on these.
     
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  2. Bobbon21

    Bobbon21 Member

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    I helped burtmeister with the translation of some of them (the ones he got right) I'll do a bloke translation
     
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  3. Bobbon21

    Bobbon21 Member

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    F: have you emptied your trousers of work shite
    M: yes put the kettle on
    Translation: no I haven't bothered to just put the bloody tea on

    M: when you back iv got to go out ( at some point tonight have would like to go out)
    F: on my way ( bugger off Im shopping)

    F: cooking tea want any? (eat now or starve)
    M: nah not hungry (let's see what she's done first)

    F:you busy?
    M: yes very (go away wench)
    F: it's youtube (busy my hairy chewbaccka arse)
     
  4. Mebs

    Mebs Active Member

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    She says: See you at 8 o'clock.
    She means: See you around 8.30 pm. Unless of course I get delayed talking to one of my friends, putting my make-up on or reading about the Kardashians.
     
  5. Corvid

    Corvid Active Member

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    Fuckin Kardashians. They're taking up too much oxygen.
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2016
  6. BurtMeister3000

    BurtMeister3000 Staff Member

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    Bobbon21 (the Mrs) says she will do a male language translator for the ladies at some point.
     
  7. Mebs

    Mebs Active Member

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    She says: "Oh, I am not looking for anything serious too".
    She means: "Of course I am looking for something serious and if you look at another girl in my presence I will castrate you". OR "Hmm, I need more time to figure out if you have the desired characteristics I require in a mate or if you are going on the trash-pile".

    She says: "Which dress do you prefer on me".
    She means: "If you choose the dress I like then brilliant. If you choose the other one, I will still choose the other dress".

    She says: "I think my dad is warming to you".
    She means: "My dad warned me off you because he thought you were a no-good waster, but now he has accepted we are together and he tolerates your presence".

    She says: "Do you think he/she looks like me [talking about their son/daughter]?"
    She means: "If you say yes, brilliant. If it is a no or any kind of uncertainty, I will get my voodoo doll of you out for a world of pain!"

    She says: "Oh that is an interesting idea".
    She means: "You are a total fucking idiot, I cannot believe you think that. You are one more stupid thought away from cyanide in your soup".
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2016
  8. Corvid

    Corvid Active Member

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    You could try:"Oh yes, you both have the exact same unibrow, or: No, I think he looks more like (husbands best friend)" .
    *drops mic, walks away
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2016
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  9. FossilHead

    FossilHead Staff Member

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    Bwahahaha!
    I like it...... Ah lahk it alaht
     
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  10. FossilHead

    FossilHead Staff Member

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    What a woman says: What did you say?

    What a woman means: “I heard you I just didn’t like it. I’m giving you an opportunity to change your tone or rephrase that sentence entirely. If you can’t come up with something better, more correct, or within the realm of what I am thinking you should say, and within the next millisecond, your best bet is to respond with “I have no idea. Love you, honey.”